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This post is part of my series The Inner CEO on The Spiritually Ambitious Substack, click here to subscribe.​

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There’s going to be two types of people who read this post. The first type will think I’m some kind of alien. A nutcase, who needs to get help.

If you are the first type, my sincere ask is that you just stop reading as soon as your eyebrows start raising.

Just close out the browser. Maybe unsubscribe if you need to.

The second type will identify so deeply, you’ll wonder “does she somehow have access to a transcript of my inner dialogue”.

And, in a way, yes I do. Because if you are the second type… we have the same neuroses. The same wounding.

You are my people, and I wrote this for you.

So… let’s dive in shall we?

The painful cycle I was trapped in for years…

There’s a predictable cycle I went through in my business for years. It may be familiar to you (my type 2s).

It looked something like this

New Strategy → Beginner’s Excitement → Good Student Mode → Lackluster Results → “It’s Not Working” → Emotional Spiral

I think Alex Hormozi talks about this using slightly different language. Uninformed Optimism, Valley of Despair, etc. So yea… it’s that thing.

Let’s me give you an example from 2024.

The time I signed up for an $18,000 coaching program that promised to help me build an evergreen funnel to a high-ticket group program.

New Strategy: Evergreen Funnel to High-Ticket Group Program

This one doesn’t really need an explanation.

Beginners Excitement: “I found the thing!”

This is it! I’ve finally found the strategy I’ve been looking for.

I’ll be able to deliver one offer—which will make everything so much simpler.

I’ll have leads coming in on autopilot—no more launching, no more hustle. Just smooth, sustainable income.

Good Student Mode: If I just work really hard and make it perfect there’s no way I can fail.

I dove in to the coaching program like an A+ student.

I consumed the trainings and implemented immediately. Working really long hours, but telling myself- it’ll be worth it when I get this thing up and running (dangit… back to delayed gratification)

I built out the webinar, created the slides, wrote the emails, and ran the live funnel test. I even signed a few clients during the initial launch. Score!

But then, once I tried to convert the funnel to evergreen... I hit a wall.

Lackluster results: Hmmm this is harder than I thought.

My Facebook ads weren’t bringing in webinar signups. My conversion rates were not high.

Every time I opened my Meta Ads dashboard, my stomach dropped.

I couldn’t even bring myself to open up my Google Sheet to track the funnel data- because the numbers felt like proof of my failure.

“It’s Not Working”

I showed up to the coaching calls, asking for feedback on my ads. But it wasn’t a neutral asking. It was a desperate asking.

It was a “what am I doing wrong?”.

I couldn’t even process the feedback objectively, because I was being haunted by these three words

“It’s not working.”

The Two Doors of Doom

Once I started having the thought

“It’s not working,” it was like a kiss of death.

Because from there, there were only ever two paths I’d go down.

Door #1: The Quick Bail

Aka abandon ship at the first sign that things aren’t popping off.

This is what happened with #evergreenfunnelgate. I’d already decided, emotionally, that it had failed.

So I stopped tracking. Stopped refining. I even stopped showing up to the coaching calls.

And eventually gave up on the idea of figuring out an evergreen funnel.

The strategy didn’t necessarily fail- I just didn’t stick around long enough to let it succeed.

Door #2: #GetWrecked Emotionally

There were other times when I didn’t quit right away. I was determined to see it through. (Which… kudos to me for going through that).

But here’s what that looked like. I’d drag myself through an emotional minefield, and process the pain of “it’s not working” every single day.

I’d go from hopeful to hopeless, back and forth on the emotional rollercoaster, sometimes multiple times in a single afternoon.

I’d cry, tap, journal, vent to my biz besties, pick myself back up…

Only to spiral again when the next email I sent didn’t generate sales immediately.

And even if I made it to the end of a launch and it was technically successful, I’d end up thinking:

(To be fair- I’ve healed tons of emotional pain this way and have become stronger and stronger every time. But I don’t think it needs to be this dramatic or difficult)

I was looking for a shortcut to a long game.

This is something that no overachiever ever wants to admit… so you better not share this with anyone.

When I look closely at my pattern, it seems like I was looking for a shortcut. Maybe not shortcut necessarily, but I wanted a strategy that worked immediately.

Not because I was afraid of hard work. But because I was afraid of not being validated.

I didn’t want to put all this time, energy, and heart into something… only to be met with crickets.

So I became hypervigilant about whether the strategy was “working” or not. I had a magnifying glass on my results, and was taking everything way too personally.

I was trying to find a shortcut. But business is a long game.

I wasn’t giving any strategy the time it needed to work. The moment I didn’t feel validated—I’d start jumping ship.

• Coach hopping.
• Strategy hopping.
• Course hopping.

Always looking for “the answer.” The missing piece. The magic fix.

But the truth is...

Because I didn’t know how to regulate myself through the void.

It’s time to look at how this shows up for you

If this cycle feels familiar—you’re not alone.

(If it doesn’t feel familiar, 1- Congrats and 2- We already talked about what to do. Please scroll to the top for instructions.)

But if you see yourself in my story, the invitation is to pause and reflect on how this might be showing up for you.

Taking this kind of honest self-inventory—even if it stings in the moment—can save you months, even years, of spinning your wheels in frustration.

Ask yourself:

• Where is this pattern playing out in your business right now?
• Are you strategy hopping? Coach hopping? Platform hopping? Looking for “the thing” that will finally work?
• Do you get emotionally dysregulated when the algorithm seems to hate you… or when a potential client ghosts you?
• Do you disappear from your business for days or weeks—because you feel like a failure and just can’t face it?
• Are you spending more time managing your emotions… than having actual conversations with the people you want to help?

If you said yes to any of these—just know I’m sending you such a big hug right now.

I have felt literally all of this. And yes, it’s painful AF.

But here’s what I want you to know:

In the rest of this post, I’m going to help you understand the real root of the problem—and give you practical, grounded ways to start shifting out of this spiral.

So you can build your business in a less emotionally draining manner.

Here’s what we’re going to cover

The Real Reason You Emotionally Spiral When the Algorithm Seems to Hate You

→ Why it feels like a personal rejection every time a post flops (even if you logically “know better”)

→ The subconscious drive that turns your business into a battleground for self worth

→ How to notice when you’ve shifted from navigating strategy to navigating shame

The One Skill That Separates Entrepreneurs Who Burn Out… From the Ones Who Gain Traction

→ Exactly what to do inside “the void” to counteract the shame spiral.

→ The morning journaling practice I use to become unbothered

→ How to create consistent safety in your nervous system so the ups and downs of business aren’t as emotionally draining.

A Simple Tool to Rewire Your Subconscious Using Nothing But Your Notes App

→ Why you can’t trust your brain’s judgement that “it’s not working”. → The exact process I’ve used since 2019 to track micro-proof that my business is building momentum.

→ How to shift from a negative spiral into a positive reinforcement loop in just a few minutes a day.

The rest of this post is for paid subscribers. Want in? Start your free 7-day trial—cancel anytime.

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XO, Coach Chels

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